Smashing

Don't you all just look smashing today!! Haha you just said that in a British accent didn't you!! Haha me too.

Ok so does anyone do Smash Books????

I just found them and I think I am addicted!!!
Check it
Smash Books
Now I know what I am going to be wasting all my money on!

He can cook too!! #besthubsever

Rearranging and cuties!!

Ok so I am my mommas child. I love to move furniture and redecorate like crazy. So last night I turned on a Christmas movie and had at it..

what do ya think? The girls love it!

Thank You!

First of all I want to say Thank you

for the sweet comments and words of wisdom

from everyone!!

I am so thankful for wonderful friends and family

when I need a pick me up :)

Onto happier times.

You may remember from last year that

Hubs can't keep a gift secret

I mean most time it doesn't even get wrapped!

I love it

it is so cute!

He gets all smiley and is like here

go ahead and open it.

This year he did not disappoint!

IPAD 2 baby!!!!!

Thanks Honey, you rock!

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While I was cleaning and reorganizing the office today

I noticed out the window how much progress our little neigborhood has made

I really hope some younger couples move in and we can have block parties!

I know I am living in the Wonder Years

But a girl can dream right!

2 more houses going up



Ezzer Bezzer

You know our little Esme?? Who we lovingly call ezzer bezzer! Look how I found the little crazy today while cleaning.
Such a goofball!

Furbabies make the world a better place!

Up Down Up Down Up Down

Ok I have wrote this post about 200 times

ok maybe 20

but still

I start out with something

then I stop

I think who cares

I think quit whining

I think wow people have it way worse

But I have this blog to help me journal

 to decompress

to get my thoughts out there

because I know that I am human

and people can relate to me

so here goes...

(this is really long and sad so if you don't read I don't blame you

happier post soon I promise)

It's no secret

I have infertility issues

like to the point that when people ask me who I am

I no longer wanna say Hi, Im Erica

I want to say Hi nice to meet you, I'm Infertile

I guess I just never thought "it could happen to me"

Honestly I was kind of oblivious.

I always thought if people didn't have kids

they didn't want them, not that they were unable to.

I read one of the most breathtaking birth stories the other day

YES I LIKE TO TORTURE MYSELF!!

My stomach seriously ached while reading it

that empty hole in my belly was screaming at me

I am pretty sure it is still aching somewhat.

I read about the torturous labor pains and so on

At that moment as tears ran down my face I thought

I would do anything to experience that.

Weird isn't it?

That I would want that kind of pain

but that pain means life and something you created.

It is so hard to explain this to people

Truly it is hard to explain to myself

And really there is no way to understand

unless you are in it or have been thru it

I never wanted to be that girl

that obsessed over having a baby

I never wanted to cry everytime someone announces they are pregnant

I never ever wanted to be a person of jealousy

I never wanted to be a person of comparisson

I never ever wanted to doubt why things happened the way they do

But I am that girl.

Why am I writing this?

I don't know.

But it feels nice to open up.

To let in a little light on a subject that is truly misunderderstood.

Thanks for putting up with my post and if you have a friend dealing with infertility.

Give em a hug because even though they don't say it or show it.... They need it.