Ok I have had the fever for a long long long long time
Just sometimes it is worse than others
Baby Fever that is.
I'm talking the kind that you feel when you see/hear/hold a baby
the kind that totally consumes your thoughts, ideas and goals in life
the kind that is staring you in the face every time you look in the mirror
I know I have talked about this before
actually lots of times
I try to keep quiet about it
I try to stay positive
but it always finds its way into my conversations
I actually feel bad about it at times, it just comes out
At this point I'm not sure what to even think anymore.
I laugh, I cry, I scream
It gets better for a short time and then it comes rushing back
worse than before
I have always wanted kids
lots of them, I mean like 5!
But after all this time of meds, tests, trying and upsets
1 will do, seriously, just 1!
That's all I ask and pray.
So until that time I will keep wishing and waiting.
Praying and Hoping.
I am so thankful for so so so many things
I am looking forward to so many wonderful things in our life
but sometimes it just feels good to vent.