Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I got the fever....

Ok I have had the fever for a long long long long time
Just sometimes it is worse than others
Baby Fever that is.

I'm talking the kind that you feel when you see/hear/hold a baby
the kind that totally consumes your thoughts, ideas and goals in life
the kind that is staring you in the face every time you look in the mirror

I know I have talked about this before
actually lots of times
I try to keep quiet about it
I try to stay positive
but it always finds its way into my conversations
I actually feel bad about it at times, it just comes out

At this point I'm not sure what to even think anymore.
I laugh, I cry, I scream
It gets better for a short time and then it comes rushing back
worse than before

I have always wanted kids
lots of them, I mean like 5!
But after all this time of meds, tests, trying and upsets
1 will do, seriously, just 1!
That's all I ask and pray.

So until that time I will keep wishing and waiting.
Praying and Hoping.

I am so thankful for so so so many things
I am looking forward to so many wonderful things in our life
but sometimes it just feels good to vent.

7 comments:

Caroline and Kyle said...

keep praying! I'll be praying for you too!

Andrea said...

Aw. Erica! I will pray for you. You will be an awesome Mommy one day. Just remember he has a plan for all of us. Although it would be nice to see a blue print every once in a while.

Erica said...

Thank you so much girls :) It means alot to me.

Lindsay @ Delighted Momma said...

Awww it will happen... maybe God has a great plan for you as far as how or when you will become a Momma :)

Courtney, Jeff, Ayla & Leah said...

Listen Love. I dig when you get real! Because that is life, its messy and confusing and wonderful and stinky all at the same time. You will be a WONDERFUL mama when the time is right. No one knows when that day will be for you. But I will pray for you- its hard to have such a strong desire and not know what to do. But you are not alone remember. Kisses. PS. Loren's party totally ruled!

Ashley said...

You know I am thinking and praying for you!!!! I always have baby fever! And I always feel bad when I bring up the subject (happens a lot for me too) but I can't help b/c it just happens. Our time will come:)

Lindsay @ Aisle to Aloha said...

oh man, I could have written this myself. I know how you feel, Erica. Seriously. Definitely a test of my patience and trust in God lately. Praying for you, girl!